Himitsu
by Yhanrah Shinaide
Summary: Summary: Cho Hakkai is in love with Genjo Sanzo for a long time but is afraid to confess because they're both male. But what if Sanzo is not really a man and keeping this secret from the rest of her group? Will Hakkai ever have his chance? HakkaixFem!Sanzo. Female Sanzo. Inspired from SheWhoEventuallyWrites' fanfiction: What! Sanzo's A Girl!
1. Chapter 1

**This story took place after the Saiyuki Requiem movie and will have a little of Saiyuki Reload and Saiyuki Reload Gunlock. The events in this fanfiction is not in the same order as of the anime/manga so please don't kill me for that.**

 **Summary: Cho Hakkai is in love with Genjo Sanzo for a long time but is afraid to confess because they're both male. But what if Sanzo is not really a man and keeping this secret from the rest of her group? Will Hakkai ever have his chance? HakkaixFem!Sanzo. Female Sanzo. Inspired from SheWhoEventuallyWrites' fanfiction: What! Sanzo's A Girl!**

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Once again the Sanzo Ikkou hit the road and continued their journey towards west. They're a little tired than usual due to their recent battle with Go Dougan. After a few hours of driving, a certain monkey started to whine about how hungry he is.

"What's new? You're always hungry. It doesn't matter whether you ate a lot from our previous location or not because after five minutes, you'll start bickering about food again." Gojyo snarled and messed with Goku's hair. The brunette tried to swat the red head's hand off his head while shouting at him.

"Hey stop messing with my hair you stupid water sprite! And all the food that Houran fed us is all gone because I consumed it during our fight with Dougan!" And the two at the back sit started to tackle one another. Sanzo is obviously annoyed with the commotion the two are creating but remained silent. The group healer predicted that the blond monks silence maybe a calm before the storm that is why he tried to pacify the two before their leader starts shooting them.

"Oh come now you two. You two shouldn't do anything harsh because Gojyo's stab wound is still healing and any reckless movement can open it again." He reminded them. Again because of their recent battle, Hakkai barely have enough chi left in him to completely heal the red head's wound that is why he must be careful. The older brunette hoped that they won't be ambushed any time soon.

"Hmp! It's not my fault that Gojyo is so dumb to notice that the Hakkai he was with is a fake." Goku teased and stick out his tongue. Unfortunately, his teasing backfired at him when the injured kappa grabbed his tongue and pulled it even more. The monkey started squirming to free his poor tongue.

"Who are you calling dumb you stupid monkey? If I'm not mistaken, you were fooled too with Blondie's impostor! And on top of that, the freak almost got you chained up in a cave! That is what you call stupid!" He laughed and released Goku's tongue. The little brunette was teary eyed as he massaged his assaulted muscle.

"That's not very nice Gojyo. It's very hard to distinguish the imposters from the real ones. Even I cannot tell the difference between the real Goku and his imposter. Everyone has been tricked that is why we cannot judge one is stupid." He scolded his best friend. His view suddenly became blurry when the monk sitting beside him blew his smoke on his side.

"Don't include me in your declaration of stupidity. I am the only one wasn't fooled by those doppelgangers. Try using your brains more because you're wasting a non renewable resource." Sanzo said and continued to enjoy his cigarette. Gojyo quickly reacted to his statement and leaned forward to his side.

"You think you're too smart eh Master Sanzo? Let me remind you that we got ourselves into that mess because of your psychotic obsessive stalker!" He growled and leaned closer.

"Oh please cockroach. Don't blame me if you're plain stupid. And it's not my fault that brat is following me like a dog." He simply replied and went back to smoking. This conversation is getting nowhere. Sanzo doesn't appreciate being admired or being the center of one's affection. He already has a lot of things to worry about and stalkers have no space for it.

"Not your fault eh? Maybe next time we should have you dressed in rugs or better yet, cover that beautiful mug of yours. That can bring us out from future troubles!" After saying that remark, he went back to his seat and laughed out loud.

"Sanzo is so beautiful that even when he's dressed in rags, he'll still stand out and attract more psychos!" Goku laughed along with the red head.

"I couldn't agree more." Hakkai giggled as he looked at the monk whose face is darkening. What his companions said was very true, Sanzo is indeed very beautiful.

It's almost impossible for a man to possess such beauty. That flawless porcelain pale skin, golden blond hair that rivals the sun and unique amethyst eyes that looks directly into your soul. With these features, the gods must be so jealous! For the few years of being with the monk, the chi healer could not deny that he himself is attracted to him. At first, he thought that it was just because he was feeling grateful for him since the monk stood for his side when the Three Aspects were about to bestow judgment upon him. But as the days go by, he suddenly found himself admiring every move Sanzo makes. When engaged in a battle with Gyumaoh's assassins, he couldn't help be amazed on how graceful the priest moves and how his golden hair dances with precise coordination to his movements. In some rare instances, the healer had the opportunity to feel the touch of that porcelain skin in his fingers and to his surprise, it is so soft, women should envy him! He couldn't really blame Sanzo's stalkers for wanting the priest so badly. Maybe it is indeed the monks fault for being so gorgeous and attractive.

But of course, no matter how much he wanted his companion, Hakkai never saw himself to confess to the blond. First of all, they're on a mission. These silly emotions will just get in the way. Second, he's a murderer while Sanzo's a high-ranking priest. Though the blond himself has murdered a lot too, it doesn't change the fact that the society will never accept them. Third, his object of desire is obviously not interested. No further explanations needed. And lastly, they are both male! He is not homophobic but it's as the same with his second reason.

He sighed heavily as he stole a glance from the blond who is lost in his thoughts while smoking. Even though it's pathetic, he guess being beside Sanzo and secretly admiring him is the best thing he could have.

"That's a pretty heavy sigh you released there Hakkai. What's the matter buddy, something's or should I say someone is bothering you?" Gojyo asked him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Since the kappa is his best friend, Gojyo knows his feelings towards the blond. In fact, he advised him to confess to Sanzo but of course he rejected the idea. The red head said that there is no harm in trying but he afraid that this may change something in their little group. Sanzo might even think that he is taking advantage of him.

He gave a fake smile to his friend and reached for his hand. "Nothing is bothering me Gojyo. I guess I'm a little tired since none of us were able to sleep last night." He assure the red head. Goku leaned closed to them.

"Maybe Hakkai is hungry! I am hungry too- ouch! Why did you do that you pervy water sprite" He was rubbing the sore spot on his head that Gojyo smacked while he was talking.

"Stop thinking that everyone is having a problem because of hunger and it's rude for children to join in an adult's conversation!" He said and another tackle battle between the two began.

"Don't call me a child you old perv!"

"Who are you calling old you monkey?"

"Of course it's you! Stupid cockroach!"

"You have some nerve to say that you chimp with a bottomless pit!"

"This is giving me a headache." Sanzo muttered as he massages his forehead with his fingers. Hakkai simply smiled at him because he in more that sure what will happen next.

"At least I don't chase women from one town to another!"

"You're saying that because you didn't even have the chance to be with a woman for once!"

"Oh yeah? Wh-" The blond had enough of their noise. He quickly stood up and turned to face the two.

"SHUT YOUR HOLES YOU WORTHLESS FOOLS!" After that both got two hard hits from Sanzo's mighty paper fan. The hit silenced them and now rubbing their assaulted head.

"That really hurts you stinking excuse for a monk! And it's not my fault your pet monkey is unruly!" Gojyo complained. Sanzo went back to his sit and did not bother to look at him.

"If you don't want to get hit, I suggest that shut your traps and I don't give a dam who started it because I'll fini-" The fuming monk suddenly paused causing the others to look at him. His eyes widened and he was obviously feeling uncomfortable. Hakkai stopped the jeep and turned to Sanzo.

"Is there anything wrong Sanzo? You don't look too well. May I?" He asked if he could touch the monk to check his temperature. The priest weakly nodded. Upon checking him closer, Hakkai noticed that he looked paler than usual. And his skin feels cold.

"You look pale your body temperature seems low. May I ask how are you feeling?" He inquired.

Sanzo just shook his head and sighed. "I feel dizzy, that's all. Let's just hurry so that we can get to the next town." The chi healer also noticed that Sanzo is sitting position is rather odd. Only his side is touching the car seat.

' _Maybe his blood pressure is low due to the lack of sleep.'_ He thought and started the jeep so that they can get to the next town fast. Sanzo is the only human in their group and whether he admits it or not, he's the most vulnerable. Though his speed, agility, and senses are above a mere human being, at the end of the day, humans are still humans. They heal longer, their physical strength is not that great compared to a demon, and their immune system is weaker.

The rest of the group was clueless about Sanzo's condition, excluding the monk himself and his pet monkey. Goku looked at him with concern on his face.

' _It's her time of the month already? Damn! Talk about bad timing!'_ He thought and continued to stare at his Sanzo. No wonder he can smell blood aside from the kappa's wound.

Of all Sanzo's secrets, there is one secret that the monk promised to keep in his grave: His or rather, her gender. **Priest Genjo Sanzo, the 31th of China is a woman!** Only her master, Shuei, and Goku are the ones to know this secret. Actually Goku was not supposed to be included. When they were at Chang-An temple, the monkey accidentally came inside the bath while Sanzo was washing herself. After that day, the brunette promised to keep her secret and he made an oath to protect her at all cost. Sanzo is like a mother to him and no one is allowed to harm her on his watch.

Keeping a secret like this is while they're on a journey is really hard for the monk. She has to wrap her boobs all the time unlike in the temple where she can remove it if no one is around. This is very uncomfortable for her and makes her lose her breath faster when running (Yup it's not her smoking habit that makes her lose her breath faster than usual). Making her voice sound masculine is not a problem because she's been doing it since she was young so that no one in the temple would suspect her gender. When changing clothes she has to make sure that either she's alone inside a locked room, or she will change inside the bathroom. The other two didn't suspect anything because they assumed that it was a part of Sanzo being a monk with conservative issues. She would rather shoot herself with her own gun than to change in front of Gojyo!

But of all the struggles she is facing in her present situation, the most challenging part of this secret is happening right now: Menstrual cycle. While arguing with the kappa, Sanzo felt the sudden flow of warm liquid that exited her body making her very uncomfortable. No wonder she was feeling dizzy all of a sudden. She shifted her sitting position a little so that the blood won't stain her robes and create a bigger problem. She was not badly injured during their encounter with Dougan so having random blood stains might arouse suspicion from the other members of her group.

She glanced at Goku and the boy nodded. Having the monkey learning her secret was awkward due to their gender difference but it was soon gone when he was more sensitive towards her needs. And not to mention that Goku sometimes cover up for her during instances that she was almost discovered by the two.

"Hakkai, is there a nearby river before we reach the village? I'm really thirsty and Gojyo drank all our water." He asked the taller brunette. The healer glanced at him and nodded.

"Yes there is one. Is it okay if we stop by there and have Goku fill our canisters Sanzo? Maybe you're dehydrated that is why you feel dizzy." Sanzo just nodded. She knows that Goku is not really thirsty but she is not in the mood to think about it. Her abdominal muscles are starting to torture her and the blood is freely flowing. Her headache is getting worse too.

Few minutes later they stopped near a forest and Hakkai turned to the boy.

"According to this map there is a river not very far from this forest. You think you could fill up the canisters by yourself or do you need my assistance?" He asked Goku who was gathering their water cans and has a little bag with him. Hakkai assumed that the boy wanted to wash up a bit that's why he brought some extra clothing. Goku was about to answer him but Sanzo quickly stood up and walked towards the forest.

"I'll go with him. You two just wait there." He simply said and walked away. Goku jumped off the jeep and run to catch up with her. "We won't take long!" he waived.

Hakkai just stared at the two until he no longer can see them. He is not sure if allowing Sanzo to come with Goku is a very good idea since the monk is not feeling well. He knows that that their leader is not easily affected by minor stuff such as a headache but Hakkai just can't help but worry for her. If only Sanzo would allow him, he is more than willing to take care of her to the point of spoiling her. He sighed. Few seconds later his felt an arm on his shoulder.

"You worried for the love of your life 'Kai? Oh come on, we both know that Sanzo is as stubborn as ever. A stupid headache won't get in the way of that trigger-happy monk." Gojyo said. The red head is genuinely happy when he found out that his best friend finally moved on from Kanan, but he isn't sure if he's going to be happy that Sanzo is Hakkai's new love interest.

"I guess you're right Gojyo. Sanzo is not a child to be watched all the time. But I just can't help myself. As much as possible, I want him to be with me at all times." He confessed. He doesn't want anything to happen to the blond. The kappa moved to his side so that he could face the anxious brunette.

"I want to know everything about him, what he is feeling, is he hurt, is there anything bothering him, I just want to know! Unfortunately, I am in no position to have access to that." He said bitterly. He loves Sanzo so much, he sometimes envy Goku for being too close with him. He knows that their bond is like a paternal one but still, he feels that they're keeping a secret from him.

All Gojyo could do was to do was to comfort him by rubbing his back. "I know I said this so many times before but, why don't you just confessed everything to the monk? Maybe something good will happen." Hakkai stared at him and the red head knows his reply would be.

"Oh Gojyo. We've talked about this for so many times. I cannot confess to Sanzo because it might affect our mission. And for crying out loud, a male high priest and a male criminal together? The goddess might even strike us before we get to India." He let his head on Jeep's stirring wheel. The kappa took out a stick of cigarette and started smoking while enjoying the awkward silence.

"If only the monk has tits, then you probably won't have any problem." He blew his smoke towards the sky.

" _How I wish."_ Hakkai murmured.

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 **Author's note: Thank you SheWhoEventuallyWrites for being my inspiration in this fanfic! Oh by the way, please don't be confused with my use of pronouns. When Hakkain and the others are involved, I will use the masculine pronoun but if it's just Goku and Sanzo, I'll use a feminine pronoun. Thank you for reading and don't forget to leave a review!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Hi fellas! Thanks for entertaining my weird story about a fem Sanzo! If you want to read another story about it, I highly recommend SheWhoEventuallyWrite's works! I used her works as an inspiration for writing this. Also, I would like to change the timeline of this fic, from Saiyuki Reload and Reload Gunlock; I will move it back to Gensomaden Saiyuki, specifically during Homura Arc. I'll use scenes there for the rest of the story but I will add some of my own as well. Oh well enough chit chat, here's the second chapter, Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Saiyuki-not mine, This Fanfiction- mine!**

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Kanzeon Bosatsu gazed at the pond filled with lotus blossoms and can't help but smile while watching her favorite group.

"Some things don't really change do they Merciful goddess." Jirounshi commented. She glanced at the man and hummed in response. They are talking about a certain brunette's affection towards the ever frowning blond. Seeing this seems like a déjà vu for the deities.

"Indeed." She simply replied. 'Even centuries had passed; some things do not really change.

 _ **-**_ _ **500 years ago**_ _ **-**_

Konzen Douji is now in the verge of dying due to boredom. She already finished her paper work for the day and has no plans of doing advance work. As the endless boredom started to swallow her entire being, the goddess closed her eyes and placed her legs on top of her empty desk then folded her arms behind her head.

"How very unlady-like of you Konzen." A calm and soothing voice pulled her out of her thoughts. Though she was sure of who the owner of the voice was; she opened one eye to confirm her suspicion then closed it again upon seeing the face of the intruder.

"If you have nothing useful to say, please leave me alone." She hissed and tried to return to what she is thinking before the Field Marshal interrupted her. She can hear the man's sigh and his footsteps approaching her. She opened her eyes once more and saw that he is now beside her. She grunted and sat properly. After being with him as they grew up, Konzen already knows that a simple 'leave me alone' won't sway the man away. In fact, when they were young, one would think that the man is her over-protective brother who doesn't want to leave her alone!

"Bored?" Tenpou asked the golden-haired goddess. He knows that the answer is obvious in her ever-present frown. It's really a wonder how that frown never marred her beauty. It doesn't really matter if she's smiling or frowning; because for the brunette, any facial expression looks perfect on Konzen Douji.

"Asking the obvious makes one stupid Field Marshal Tenpou." She remarked in a venomous tone. That feisty attitude of the goddess adds to her charms though it hinders some to interact with her-not that the goddess would mind. Maybe she's even glad that others find her intimidating.

"One can never be sure Konzen, maybe you're in the middle of mentally evaluating which among your battalion of suitors would receive your lovely approval." The woman groaned in disgust making him laugh. It was not a bluff that the blond has a battalion of suitors groveling at her feet. It's not really a mystery because nly a fool wouldn't want the niece of the merciful goddess.

In a place where everything is considered perfect like heaven; Konzen Douji is beyond perfection! A deity with knee-long golden blond hair that puts the sun into shame, smooth and soft porcelain-white skin, and mesmerizing amethyst eyes that seems to hypnotize its beholders. Even the merciful goddess herself takes pride on her niece's beauty. And of course he, Field Marshal Tenpou, also fell in the golden-haired goddess' spell- though he never had the courage to confess to her. Not yet rather. Now, being her friend is _enough_ for the brunette.

She ignored his reasoning and raised a delicate golden brow as she turned to him.

"How about you Tenpou? Don't you have anything to do than to bother me?" She asked irritably. She will never admit it, but she truly enjoys the man's company. Being born in such status is not as wonderful as it looks. Almost everyone in heaven looks at her in either of the two: the arrogant niece of the merciful goddess who was born with a silver spoon and never experienced hardship in her existence; or, some prize that men yearned to win. No one looks at her real self, except her aunt and Tenpou. She is secretly glad that she has a friend like the Field Marshal. Every time she's with him, she can be herself without being judged.

After hearing her sassy remark, it was his turn to raise a brow on the woman.

"I thought asking the obvious will make one stupid Konzen?" He replied. The glare she gave only made him laugh more. She lightly pushed him away and wiped the nonexistent dust over her desk.

"Will you please leave me alone Tenpou? You're not rea-" Her complaint was cut when the man threw a basket on her lap. "What's this?" The man chuckled and took the basket before Konzen could throw it back. He lifted the basket in front of the frowning woman and used the index finger of his other hand to point at it.

"This, my dear Konzen is what you call a basket." Before the goddess could say anything to his teasing, he grabbed her hand then dragged her from her seat. "And we are going to a picnic!" He announced and dragged her out of her office.

The brunette and the blond had their little picnic under the giant Sakura tree found west of the Merciful Goddess' palace. Now they're sitting on the warm grass and enjoying a bottle of hot sake with the pastries the Field Marshal brought. He said that these odd-looking delicacies came from the lower world. Konzen took another bite of the sticky ball filled with sweet paste and can't help but smile as she savoured it. Even though the goddess is not a fan of sweet things (according to her aunt, she was the living testimony to the saying "sweets are for the sweet".), she truly enjoyed the treat made by the mortals. Tenpou watched her silently while drinking his sake. It's not every day you can get to see the Great Konzen Douji eat anything aside from the feast being served to her at her aunt's palace. During his last stay at the Lower World, the man made sure to buy something for the blond- and he was glad that she liked it. She was currently eating sixth mochi ball when the Field Marshal decided to tease her a bit.

"Careful there my dear, I don't want to be blamed by your suitors if you lose your beautiful figure." Konzen paused and glared at him but it only made him laugh.

"It that ever happens, I guess that would be beneficial for me. At least they have someone else to waste their time with." She continued munching on the chewy treat. Though her reply was a bit hilarious for someone like her, Tenpou made an effort on not laughing because the man knows that the goddess is serious. Plus it might ruin Konzen's appetite.

They continued eating when Tenpou noticed something about her friend that you won't see everyday. He lifted his arm to reach the woman's face- the gesture made the said woman pause, and lightly dusted the white powder off of Konzen's lips.

"My, my. Who would have thought that the great Konzen Douji is as messy as a child when eating?" The teasing was only a cheap excuse made in order to hide the turmoil inside the Field Marshall's mind. If not laughing at the blonde would take an effort to accomplish; resisting the urge to kiss her soft pink lips took every ounce of his will power. It was too late when he found himself removing the dusty powder and placing himself in a very awkward situation: he already invaded Konzen's personal bubble. Their faces is only a few inches away from each other, his hand is still on the woman's chin with his thumb on her lips, and amethyst orbs focused unto his emerald ones. Not to mention the pinkish blush creeping on her cheeks is not helping at all.

If Tenpou was in a different situation, he would take time to appreciate the rare event, but since it's too awkward to do something like that. Seconds past and the two remained in their position, - not that he was complaining but the temptation is starting to consume him. The soft, velvety feel of Konzen's lips through his thumb is something that he would remember for the rest of his existence; because it will probably the first and last time he would be able to feel them. The goddess remained still under his touch but her breathing pattern is starting to quicken up little by little. How can the man tell this? Because he could literally feel her breath through his hand! As much as he wants to escape from the situation he got himself into, any possible actions could possibly offend the blonde and cause further damage. He knows that it's ironic; but right now, he, a god himself, is praying to the gods that to do something about his dilemma.

"What an interesting view! Skipping from work just to have a little lovey-dovey moment, very professional aren't we my dear niece?" Who would have thought that a certain god or _goddess_ rather is the answer to the Field Marshal's prayer? _Indeed, Kanzeon Bosastsu is the goddess of mercy!_

Konzen turned into a ripe tomato and immediately moved away from her friend to face her annoying-as-ever aunt. Secretly, she was bit thankful that her aunt served as a distraction from that awkward moment- but there is no way she would admit that.

"I'm just having a short break old hag! And for your information: I am not having a lovey-dovey moment with Tenpou! That's gross doing it to a friend!" She reasoned out. The blonde's back is facing her friend, causing her not to notice the hurt expression from him after saying that remark. Kanzeon, however, saw it and could not help but smirk. Hir niece is unintentionally hurting her friend through her words, but it's not really Konzen's fault for not knowing Tenpou's feeling for her.

"Whatever brat, break's over. Go back to your office and expect another mountain of paper work waiting for you." Konzen quickly stood up after hearing it and marched back to her office while muttering on how merciless her aunt is. The said goddess only laughed at hir nieces antics then returned hir attention to the forgotten marshal. Tenpou could only bow his head for he cannot meet the goddess' gaze without feeling uneasy.

"Seriously Tenpou, how long has it been since you started feeling this for my niece and keeping it from her?" His eyes widened but remained silent. Denying it would be useless because one cannot keep a lie from a Bodhisattva. He lifted his head and was burned from Kanzeon's gaze, obviously waiting for his answer.

"It's been a long time that I cannot recall already." He truthfully answered. Maybe he loved her from the moment they've met, he's not sure when he started harboring feelings from the ice princess. Saying that he fell from her looks is shallow and a direct insult to the man- Konzen's looks is NOT the only reason why Tenpou love her. It only acted as a catalyst but never the trigger.

"And until when are you planning to keep it that way?" The goddess asked again as she took the spot where hir niece occupied earlier. Se also used Konzen's cup and the brunette immediately poured sake for hir. After taking a few sips, the goddess once again stared at the man, patiently waiting for an answer. Silence stretched between the two of the deities. Kanzeon was sure that even Tenpou himself is not sure of what to answer, that is why se patiently sipped more sake while waiting for his response.

"I don't know." He finally answered. The goddess stared at him for few seconds; wondering if he has anything else to say to his former statement. When se was sure that the Field Marshal has nothing else to add, the Bodhisattva gracefully stood up and started to walk away from the man. But before the goddess could go anywhere far, se paused and turned to Tenpou for the last time.

" _Better make up your mind dear; even though we have an eternity at our disposal, we'll never know when change will come crashing in our way. And when we finally realized it,_ _ **it's already too late**_ _."_ And with that, she left him to his thoughts. Tenpou knows what the merciful goddess meant by hir words, but something else bothered him after hearing those words. _It sounded more like a prophecy than a warning:_ _ **A very bad omen to be précised**_ _._

 **-End of Flashback-**

Kanzeon wanted to say the same words to Hakkai now, but watching this is very entertaining! And se knows that it will provide more entertainment for hir in the upcoming days. A mischievous smirk is seen on the goddess' face as se stare at hir favorite group. But sadness can be seen in her amethyst eyes.

'I just hope that it won't happen the _second_ time around.' She silently prayed.

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 **Author's note: Yeah Saiyuki Reload Blast is already airing! Years of wait are all worth it! Is it me or Sanzo and Konzen looked too feminine? My friends even thought that Goku's mother is Konzen on one of the pictures for it. Well if Goku is Konzen's son, then Tenpou is probably the father since the monkey has brown hair! Hehe! Thanks for reading and please don't just read, leave a review too! I would to hear your thoughts regarding this fanfic. Lovelots!**


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